


Missing In Action

by Adorible



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dancetale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Dusttale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Fellswap (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Mafiafell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Outertale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Black you are testing the limits of patience sir, Blue wants your guns, Chaos Ensues, Colt and Caliber simp hard for their boss, Comet would rather be anywhere else, Drinking, Dusty you are cruisin for a bruisin fella, Edge actually respects you?, Fluff, Galaxy come get your brother he's being ominous again, Hickory would like to take you out on a picnic, Hop please teach reader some modern dances PLEASE, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I also wrote this instead of updating my other fic, Idiots in Love, Illegal Activities, Mark Red down as scared and horny, Miscommunication, Multi, Multiverse, Mutt you aren't helping, Organized Crime, Papyrus just wants friends, Polyamory, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader is from the mafiafell universe, Reader-Insert, Reverse Harem, Saint tolerates you, Sans is trying to be a good host, Sexual Tension, Slang, Smoking, Stretch says no, Swearing, Tango they're gonna vomit stop dipping them, androgynous reader, certified badass reader, do not piss them off, it ain't illegal if you don't get caught, kinda hard when some of your guests are murderers though, mafia, mafiafell is set in 1920's, no witnesses allowed, only because you can cook, or memes, outdated slang, reader doesn't understand modern technology, reader knows how to use many weapons, reader open your damn eyes, skeletons meet the business end of your guns, the boys love you dumbass, what do you mean you can't threaten everyone you meet???, what is this 'big mood' you speak of, you can only use the charleston so many times, you know how to murder a man but not how to recognize feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25547578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adorible/pseuds/Adorible
Summary: You’re from the 1920s.A pair of boneheads had been with you every step of the way, out of the slums in the city, and into a life of organized crime and business deals.So when the skeleton brothers go missing, you may have freaked out a little.Just a little.They were your family.And you’d doanythingfor family.... Including getting used to all this newfangled technology.And the fact you had traveled to an alternate universe about 100 years in the future.What the hell is a ‘smartphone’ anyway?
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asgore Dreemurr & Toriel, Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, W. D. Gaster & Reader
Comments: 192
Kudos: 649





	1. Family Business

**Author's Note:**

> Absolutely loving the trend of having readers from universes that aren't the classic branch, and I'm always a whore for a good mafiafell. 
> 
> That being said, I have no idea how half this shit works so I just look it up and hope its at least half accurate. 
> 
> Enjoy!

You were on a warpath.

It had been two weeks.

Two horribly, agonizingly, tortuously slow weeks.

Two weeks since the infamous skeleton brothers went missing.

Gone.

Poof.

Vanished into thin air. 

Nobody was this good at covering tracks besides your skeletal mob and the Dreemurr's. 

Which is why this whole ordeal was so damn unnerving. For once the two families had been on a sort of neutral ground. They don't fuck with us, we don't fuck with them. 

Which left two other options, and neither were any sort of comforting.

One, a new gang was trying to move in on their territory and to prove their power, they snatched the two most useful members of the family. But if that was the case, nobody had been called yet for a ransom or even to say they had killed off the brothers. But that would have been a mistake anyway. Nobody threatens Gaster's boys and continues breathing more than five hours later. 

Two, the idiots had found the 'light', skipped town, and sworn off the mafia life. 

Yeah, no. Skeletons are fiercely loyal, they'd risk their lives and kill for their family, they had proved those things time and time again. 

With all of your logical and not so logical explanations debunked, you were feeling very... frustrated. 

You couldn't remember the last time you ate, or slept, or showered, or did anything besides practically burn a hole into the luxuriously carpeted floor with your continuous pacing. 

You walked laps around the first floor of the skeleton household, always ending right back at the rotary phone perched on the tall end table in the living room, its silence mocking you. 

No calls from anyone. 

Not from potential rival gangs, not from the numerous search parties that had been sent out looking for the missing monsters. 

Maybe it was wrong of you, but at this point, you'd take the dreaded call of one of the search groups finding the brothers' dust piles over the cruel silence.

You didn't want to think about that a second longer. 

**_Ring-ri_ **

You didn't even let the device get a second ring in before you nearly launched yourself onto it, picking up the handset, pressing the receiver end firmly against your ear. 

You swallowed, tongue thick and heavy in your mouth. 

"Y/n speaking." 

The line crackled to life as the voice on the other end spoke.

"Doll, it's Tony." The voice, rough from years of tobacco abuse, rasped out.

Tony Ciotti, the man who had been your eyes and ears for these past weeks, gathering all the information from the search parties and relaying it back to you. 

You let out the breath you hadn't known you'd been holding. You winced as you registered the name he'd called you. Sans had given that nickname to you... something about looking small and fragile yet still being able to 'cement some poor sap's shoes an' still look all hotsy-totsy.'

You missed the big lughead's stupid remarks.

Don't cry. You can't cry. People like you don't get to cry. 

You inhaled shakily, leaning against the wall next to the end table.

"Tony, talk to me, give me an update. Something, _anything._ " The desperation in your voice was wretched, you need to be stronger than this. For the boys. 

For a moment, the line goes silent. 

No...

Tony sighs, the receiver crackling with the shift of fabric on the other end of the call. 

No god, please no...

"M'sorry, doll..."

Don't say it...

"We got nothin', not a damned thing, we combed over th'whole city three times today. Yer th'last one to see 'em, doll." He spoke softly, tone solemn. Even if their disappearance didn't affect the underlings as much as it affected you, it was still a heavy blow to the entire family. 

How could you be so selfish, the majority of the mob was out there right now, busting ass to hunt down even the smallest lead that would give them something to go on. 

And you were at home, flitting around like an anxious dewdropper. 

You were worthless. All because you let your emotions get the best of you.

Papyrus would have scolded you to hell and back for that.

'EMOTION IS HESITANCE, AND HESITANCE IS DEATH, DOLL.'

Your lips pulled into a bittersweet smile. You could almost hear him huff and puff as Sans teased him for 'goin' soft' for you on multiple occasions. 

He really did care deeply for you. They both did.

Tony cleared his throat, you'd gotten lost in your thoughts again. It was never good when you got like this. You'd wrap this up quickly. 

"It's fine, thanks, Tony. Ring back if you get word of anything else, yeah?" 

After getting an affirmation from the male, you hung up the phone, pressing your back against the wall and slowly sliding downwards until you were seated on the floor. You hugged your knees and buried your head into your thighs. 

You didn't bother looking up when you heard muted footsteps against the carpet come closer. You knew who it was, there was only one other person in this house now. 

“...Y/n…” He spoke with a slight New Yorkers lilt, though his speech was far from improper. His tone was gentle and nurturing, like you were a cornered animal that would lash out if he raised his volume any higher. 

Wing Dings Gaster, the capo dei capi to the skeleton mob, a doctor, and one hell of a schmaltzy father. 

You wished you had been taken under his care as a child, maybe then you wouldn't have such severe abandonment issues.

Despite your silence, he continued. "They're capable adults, Y/n, they know how to take care of themselves in a scuffle. We have every available man and woman out on the field looking for them. We've done all that we can. Now we can only wait for their safe return."

You knew he was hurting deep down too, but he had always been the voice of reason when any of you had acted out childishly.

He was wrong, however. There was still something you could do.

**_Go out there and find them yourself._ **

He must have seen the look in your eye, his expression hardened and he stiffened his posture, looking every bit the intimidating mob boss he used to be.

"No, Y/n, you are far too important to be risking your life unnecessarily."

You slowly rose to your feet, making direct eye contact with the skeleton monster, his carmine-red eye-lights burning a hole into your soul. If you were anyone else, you'd have been dead by now for the display of disrespect. 

"More important than your sons, Wings?" If the eye contact didn't get you dumped in an alley somewhere, then the informal way you addressed him would. Retired or not, Gaster was a well-respected individual, even if he didn't hold the same authority as the past, having a face-off with your elder was just something you didn't do. An unspoken rule.

An emotion flashed in his sockets, but it was hidden with a calm facade within seconds. He couldn't bring himself to be too angry with you, you were always a passionate fighter and ferociously loyal to the family. Stopping at nothing to make sure everything was executed perfectly.

No wonder his boys were so infatuated with you. 

Technically speaking, yes, you did hold a higher position than the skeleton brothers, but he knew what you were really asking. 

Is business more important than family?

No, it wasn't. 

He sighed, exasperated. "You know I cannot stop you, you'll do as you wish with or without my blessing."

You flashed him an award-winning smile, one you had perfected over the years. People trusted more easily when you seemed kind at heart. 

"Doesn't stop you from trying though." You beckoned him downward and he easily obliged, getting onto your tippy toes, you placed a chaste kiss to his cheek. As he sidestepped out of your way, he gently took your hand and gave your knuckles a soft peck in return. 

"I won't badger you with a lecture, you know the rules, Y/n. At the first sign of you being overpowered you-"

"Run like hell, yeah, I got it Wings. I'll be safe, promise." You gave the skeleton you had come to see as a father figure a more genuine smile. If you hadn't witnessed first hand what he could do, you'd have thought his reputation was built off of falsities.

He was such a softie under all that cold-blooded cruelty. 

Gaster released your hand and gave you a curt nod, folding his arms behind his back. "Go on then, fetch those hardheaded fools I'm unfortunate enough to call my offspring." He winked and turned on his heel, walking off to his office.

You turned the opposite direction, heading down one of the many halls of the house.

You had some preparation to do, after all. 

\---------------------------------------------

Shoulder holsters? Check.

Your pride and joy twin Colt pistols? Check.

Extra magazines? Check.

Combat knife strapped securely to your thigh? Check.

Everything was in place. 

You ran your fingertips over the cold silver metal of your firearms, not bothered by the temperature, it would be heating up soon enough if you didn't get the answers you were looking for. 

They were both engraved with 'Doll' along the barrel. They were a gift given to you shortly after your initiation into the family. 

Checking over the weapons was second nature by now, you weighed them in your hands, feeling for any off-balance that could throw your aim. You pressed the magazine releases and checked the clips several times. These weren't blanks. There would be no mock execution today, whoever had your boys had blood or dust in need of spilling. 

You thumbed the hammers, making sure they weren't wobbly. It was perfect, as usual. 

You raised your arms, pointing the guns at nothing in particular. Hands steady on the grips, you lined the sights up with your eyes, narrowing them to focus on the pinpricks that gauged where the bullets would hit if you were to fire. 

You flicked your wrists, the slides clicking back and pulling a round into the chamber with ease. The guns had been modified so you never had to manually pull the slides with your hands. Less time wasted, more bullets fired. 

You steadied your breath. 

In. 

Out. 

Just like you had been taught. You could feel Sans' phantom hands on your waist, his leg between yours, pushing you into the proper stance. 

'steady, doll, every shot counts.'

"Every shot counts."

'one misfire an' yer dead.'

"One misfire and I'm dead."

'now, line up th'shot, riiigght between th'eyes. can't 'ave 'em gettin' away now can we, doll?'

"They won't get away."

'good, now _pull that_ **_trigger._** '

Your fingers slip from the triggers of your pistols, you lower your arms and relax your shoulders. You hadn't missed a shot yet, and you wouldn't be starting now.

You tuck your Colts safely into their holsters, the comforting weight on your sides grounding you.

You smoothed out your scarlet-red dress shirt and ebony slacks before slipping on the matching inky black blazer. It hid your pistols well without the awkward fabric folding at your sides.

You were ready.

Almost. 

You left the armory and trekked a short distance to the only other room in the basement. 

Sans' workroom. 

You usually weren't allowed in there, for your 'own safety' of course. 

But nobody was there to stop you today.

You needed something, and it was in there.

Sans' cigars. 

Usually, you hated his constant smoking. The crimson miasma that swirled from the smoldering ash made you choke and brought stinging tears to your eyes. It was laced heavily with the skeleton's magic. 

But after you found the missing pair of siblings, a little celebration was in order. Hell, you might even light one up for yourself. 

Entering the disaster zone Sans called an office, you kicked away crumpled papers, greasy bags from Grillby's, and several _things_ that looked one evolution away from gaining sentience. 

You reached his desk and immediately went for the drawers. 

Locked.

Bastard. 

You huffed out in irritation, reaching for the underside of the desk and palming around until you hit a flimsy part of the wood, pushing at it until it slid to the side and something cold and heavy hit your palm.

A key. 

Bingo. 

You tried the locks. It didn't fit. 

So what the hell did this go to? 

You eyed the closet across the room.

Worth a shot.

You made your way over to the door, nudging the key into the lock. 

A perfect fit. 

The resounding click of the lock sliding out of place was as rewarding as a victory bell, and you slowly pushed the door open.

Shit, that was dark.

You fumbled against the wall, looking for some sort of switch for a light source and came up empty-handed, so you waited a moment for your eyes to adjust to the void. 

Deeming your vision good enough, you searched around the rather small room, bumping into a large metal object. It was probably the boiler that heated the water throughout the house. 

You managed to find some drawers and quickly dug through them. You were remunerated immediately with a leather-clad box and the heavy smell of tobacco and spice. 

Mission accomplished, you hugged the box tightly before slipping it into an inner pocket of your blazer. 

"I'm coming guys."

_Clink_

**_Whirrr_ **

The boiler behind you sprung to life, startling you enough to jump. You turned around and-

White.

Pure and blinding white light surrounded your form. You couldn't see, it hurt to even try and open your eyes. 

You waited.

Eventually, the onslaught on your eyes faded into a somewhat tolerable warm light, and you chanced a peek. 

You were met with the sight of...

"Sans...?"

If he fell off the fashion disaster tree and was hit with every branch on the way down. A red turtleneck sweater, a golden-yellow and onyx jacket, baggy black shorts, and... very chunky cherry-red sports shoes. His rubied eye-lights wavered as you made eye contact, red-hued sweat dotting along his skull, sharp signature smirk nowhere to be found, even his golden fang didn't shine as brightly as it usually did. 

...

Was that a collar? 

It was then you realized it wasn't just the two of you, there was... Sans again, but... soft, and also hit with the same fashion disaster tree. He was dressed in a white t-shirt, a baggy lapis-blue zip up, and the same loose black shorts as the Sans you were more familiar with. ...And he was wearing pink house slippers. Your idiot wouldn't be caught dead wearing something like that. 

And...

One soft and orange Papyrus, and... some weird love-child of your Sans and the orange Papyrus. He had the same golden fang, except on both canines, a similar zip up to the one your Sans was wearing. 

You were starting to get a headache, you wanted to go home. 

You stepped towards your Sans, mouth open to ask what the hell was going on when you saw it. 

Or rather, _didn't_ see it. The familiar hairline crack that ran from his right socket to the back of his skull was nowhere to be found. He had gotten that mark after one of your first business deals gone wrong. 

Some poor human had thought hitting him over the head with a bat would be enough to knock him out cold.

He was wrong.

Realization flooded you.

You were in a room of strange look-alikes.

Your Sans and Papyrus absent.

You did the logical thing.

You drew your pistols, aiming one at the two Sanses, the other pointed at the Papyruses...Papri...?

Whatever. 

They all froze, eye-lights blinking out of existence. Ha, nice try, that was only mildly horrifying when your Sans did it the first hundred times. 

"Alright, squeal, who's the capo of this here motley crew? And don't try no funny business with me, doubt any of you chumps are packing heat anyway. I'll plug you full of lead if I smell something fishy, you dig?" You snarled at the skeletons.

... They all looked incredibly confused. 

"was that fuckin' english?" Your Sans' closest look-alike muttered to the softer Sans, sweat increasing. 

The other merely shrugged, shoulders tense.

Oh for stars sake. 

You huffed, flicking your wrists and loading the chambers of your dual weapons. 

"You dumb or something? Who's your ringleader, the big boss? Don't try tricking me, none of you are carrying any weapons as far as I can tell, and I'll fucking shoot you if I think you're lying, do you _understand?_ " You tried again, clearly needing to spell it out for them.

They seemed to understand now, at least.

The soft blue Sans stepped forward, hands raised in surrender. You aimed at him, finger on the trigger. 

"Not another damn step you-"

" _doll?_ "

You froze up.

The tears you had been holding in for weeks flooded forward, welling up and pooling down your cheeks. You spun on your heel and dropped your weapons. 

This time, it was _your_ Sans.

You cried out, taking a step in preparation to launch yourself at him, but he was already ahead of you, in front of you within a millisecond, black suit-clad arms enveloping you in a warm and firm embrace. 

Tobacco and spice drowned out the voices around you. As far as you were concerned, it was just you and Sans in the room. His warmth seeped into your clothes and through your skin. You were trembling. 

The fantasy couldn't last forever, unfortunately. 

"so, colt, take it you know them?" The voice wasn't as rough as the more accurate Sans copycat, but still had his baritone. You guessed it was the blue Sans speaking. You couldn't exactly see, your vision was obstructed with the wide chest of your hitman skeleton. 

"heh, fellas, i'd like ya ta meet _my_ boss."

"don y/n."


	2. This Thing Of Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deal has been made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback this story has gotten so far! I honestly had no idea how this would be received so I'm glad you all like it so far!

The comforting buzzing of Sans' magic as he held you against him was a balm on your aching soul. The stress that had coiled tightly in your muscles over the past fourteen days melted off, layer after layer, until you were practically limp in the skeleton's arms. 

You felt safe. Comfortably swaddled in Sans' suit jacket, his gentle and breathy purrs reverberating deep in his chest, coaxing you to calm down.

You didn't need to bring the brothers home, wherever they were was home already. 

The second you see Papyrus, you mentally promised to drown him in the same affections. He'd have to fight you off, and even then you wouldn't relent. 

You unclenched your jaw, teeth sore from the pressure you had subconsciously put on them. 

Satisfied with your temporary fix of TLC, you pulled your face away from the monster's chest, frowning softly at the wet spots splotching his garnet silk vest. A mix of tears and snot. You were such a hot mess. 

You'd wash it later for him. 

Clawed phalanges filled your vision, Sans tenderly grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointer distal, turning your face side to side as he examined you closely, sharp teeth falling into a frown.

Did you really look that bad?

...You probably should have at least showered. 

Sans opened his mouth to speak, but the other golden fanged Sans beat him to it. 

"wait, wait, wait. _that's_ yer boss?" He sounded so appalled.

Why? What was he getting at?

The orange pullover wearing Papyrus spoke next, his rounded zygomatic arches were so odd to look at, not anything like the sharper angles of your Papyrus. His voice was even worse, it had the same muddled lilt as Sans. 

"from the way you talked about them and all those stories, we wouldn't've guessed they were so..." He trailed off, eye-lights looking you over.

The sharper but still off-putting Papyrus with two golden teeth finished the sentence in the familiar rasp that came from heavy smoking.

"tiny."

Your face flared with heat, cheeks flushed in anger and embarrassment. Really?! They thought you weren't fit to be a don because of your size?! 

Sure, you'd had the offhanded comment on occasion that maybe you weren't the best follow up act to Gaster himself, but it was more about your recklessness, which you would fully own up to, and not ever about your physical appearance. People knew better than to judge on that front.

Apparently, these idiots didn't.

Feeling your anger rolling off of you in barely concealed waves, Sans shifted you over into a side hug, phalanges idly rubbing soothing circles on your hip. You got the message loud and clear. 

This wasn't a good time for a fight. 

It didn't stop you from mumbling some choice words under your breath, though.

"Right palookas, the lot of them." You huffed, but your sour mood lightened when you heard Sans try and fail to hide a snicker behind a cough. Everyone else seemed just as confused as when you threatened them.

You could get used to people not knowing you were throwing insults their way. 

"small 'r not," Sans began, and you shot a halfhearted glare up at him, one he returned with a proud smile that nearly made your heart stop. "doll's th'best damn don we ever 'ad, smart as a whip, hittin' on all sixes an' then some." 

You were sure you were blushing something fierce, averting your gaze and nudging his ribs with your elbow. He loved showering you in praise until you were dizzy, the damn tease.

"Go chase yourself, Casanova." He snorted at your poor attempt of a riposte, shaking his head in amusement. 

"s'actually colt here, babydoll." Sans mused. 

Ah, right, one of the others had called him that while you two were having your moment, didn't they? It would have gotten confusing if they all called each other Sans and Papyrus, you were struggling already. 

You'd probably only call him Colt when referring to him around others. He was **Sans**. **_Your Sans._**

"Why Colt, though?" You chanced a glance and were met with a smug grin and gleaming eye-lights.

That was never good. 

He raised his free hand, the bones becoming encased in the familiar ruby of his magic, your pistols were swallowed by the same color, lifting off the ground where you had dropped them and floating over to you. You gingerly grabbed them, your hands filled with pins and needles while making direct contact with the magic until it faded away and you could tuck the firearms back into their holsters.

"gotta name m'self after yer favorite thing, doll." He shot you a wink and you rolled your eyes.

"You were already named after my favorite thing, Sans." 

Oh.

_Oh that was too good._

The faint dusting of red magic condensing on his zygomatic bones and the tinted sweat beading on his skull was an entertaining sight. 

You don't think you've ever pulled such a strong reaction from him before.

You'd tease him relentlessly later, and if the look of resignation on his face was anything to go by, he knew it would be coming.

Granting the hitman a little mercy, you turned your attention back to the other skeletons, who were all desperately looking anywhere but the two of you. The various expressions of discomfort they all wore brought a pleasant warmth to your chest. 

You adored when people squirmed. 

You might have issues.

"Alright then, you daisies have nicknames too, or should I come up with some myself?" You raised an eyebrow, smile a stones toss away from being maniacal. You were just itching to watch them all fumble and try to decipher what you had called them. 

Sans, _Colt_ , cleared his throat, nodding his head and then gesturing to the other sharp-toothed version of himself. 

"he goes by red." You nodded in greeting, and Red returned it with his own. He seemed wary of you, skittish even. 

"th'blue bozo next to 'im is classic, 've taken ta callin' 'im 'nilla, though." You snickered at that, Classic did remind you of a vanilla cone now that you've looked at him for a moment. He wasn't anything special.

"orange bean pole s'called stretch." Fitting, even with his slouched posture, you could tell he was just as tall as your Papyrus. 

"paps if i let 'is rebellious phase get too far is mutt." You wondered why he had that name of all things, though, in a way, he did remind you of some sort of leashed guard dog, just watching and waiting, ready for the command to attack. You liked him already. 

You gave the group of skeletons your all too perfect smile, borderlining the territory of your unnerving interrogation smile. 

"Pleasure to officially make your acquaintance, fellas. Sorry for trying to blow your nonexistent brains out a minute ago, you know how it is." 

In that moment, every skeleton in the room besides the one standing next to you had a similar thought;

They really, _really_ didn't know how 'it is'. And they didn't want to find out. 

Classic cleared his throat, flinching and sweating nervously as all attention turned to him. 

"sorry, bud, don't know how comfortable i am letting your uh, boss, stay here."

Colt was on the defensive immediately, brow bones furrowing, the sharp phalanges on your hip digging through the fabric of your pants and into soft flesh. "an' why th'hell not?" He all but growled. 

Classic faltered, eye-lights darting to you before he regained his composure. "don't like the thought of someone walking around the house carrying weapons-"

"tha's bullshit and ya know it, 'nilla!" Colt snapped at his softer counterpart. "ya got loads of dangerous skeletons on th'property, doll's EXP an' LV ain't nearly as high as that freak of a boone helm wannabe ya got in th'woods! what if doll needs ta defend-"

You raised your right hand, and Colt instantly stopped talking.

"If you want my weapons, you can have them." You spoke in an indifferent tone, Colt making a noise of disdain beside you.

"but doll-" 

"Are you challenging my decision?" You turned your head to look at the male at your side. The suited skeleton looked perplexed, deciding to push his luck.

"babydoll, i just don't-"

Wrong move. 

"It's a yes or no question, Sans." You addressed him coldly, and he finally got it through his thick skull that this wasn't something you could be talked down from. 

He slipped his arm from around you, shoving his hands into his pants pockets, and assumed a submissive stance slightly behind you.

"...no, don."

You hated the capitulation and dejection in his voice. It reminded you that you were only supposed to have one relationship with the monster.

Boss and caporegime. 

The tension was thick in the air and you tried your best to ignore it as you focused back on Classic. 

"So, whaddya say, pal? I give you the ol' bean-shooters and my knife, and we'll be square, yeah?" You inquired, a patient smile on your lips.

Classic's shoulders slumped. His only reason for you not being allowed to stay was being handed to him on a silver platter. "yeah... i guess that's fine."

You beamed. Business deals were always such fun when you backed the opposer into a corner. 

With the same practiced ease as always, you reached back into your blazer and unhooked the holsters with the guns still tucked firmly into them, passing it off to Classic who looked like he was holding a live bomb.

A soft laugh escaped you as you unclipped the combat knife's sheath from the strap on your thigh, plopping it right on top of the tangled mess in the skeleton's arms. 

"Careful with that shiv, the blade was dipped in poison. One scratch and you'll drop like a fly." You warned cooly.

You had no idea how a skeleton could pale, but it was happening right before your eyes. All of the skeletons stiffened besides Colt, who was still sulking behind you.

Classic let out a strangled noise, dull eye-lights wavering as he eyed the weapon sitting on top of the pile. "wh-what...?"

You chuckled. "Aw, don't look so worried, I'm just fucking with you, poor sap."

Classic let out a shaky laugh and the monsters relaxed their shoulders.

"Yeah, poison takes a few hours to kick in, and _then_ you drop dead." 

They went still again, and you couldn't help the loud cackle that left you, you wiped away the false tear in the corner of your eye. 

"Whew! You bunch sure are a right riot to string along. It's not really poisoned, honest, I would've been stiff ages ago if it was, can't tell you how many times I've nicked myself twirling it around." You explained. 

If they were anything like your Sans, they'd see you were telling the truth. 

Speaking of the devil, he finally decided to come out of the mood he was in, placing a hand on your shoulder, brow bones drawn together in thought. 

"say, 'nilla, ya said th'machine only locked onto our magic signatures when it dragged us 'ere, so, how'd it bring doll through?" 

The shocked expressions around the room gave way to how none of them had even stopped to question it. 

Stretch was the one to speak first.

"dunno, mutt and i were getting the daily status report from the machine when it locked onto a previous sequence of code. it never repeated itself before this, so we got classic and red down here to take a look at it." Stretch's eye-lights flicked across the room. 

"the second red touched the machine, it went haywire. guess it took his magic as a good enough substitute to make the connection to your world from our side... doesn't explain how a human would be able to finish the link, though."

There was a beat of silence before it clicked in your mind. 

"Oh!" 

The monsters jolted at your sudden exclamation. You gave a sheepish smile, reaching back into your blazer and pulling out the cigar box. It had completely slipped your mind in the excitement. 

"Any chance Colt's magic-infused cigars would be strong enough? I had them on me when the machine on my side turned on." You gave Colt an apologetic look. 

"Snooped through your office to find them, sorry. I wanted to have a proper celebration after I found you and Paps, figured we could light a few and go on a bender."

Colt was looking at you like you were the only person in the world.

"'ave i asked ya ta marry me yet?"

"Several times, yes." You titter.

"well, ya should consider it, 'ave ya heard what they say 'bout skeletons, doll?" He hummed, eye-lights brightening, a telltale sign he was moments away from making a joke. 

"Can't say I have." 

"we make wonderful hus _bones_." Colt wiggled his brow bones at you.

"Really? Well then, I suppose you won't mind if I test that little fact with Papyrus then." You answered innocently, fighting to keep the smile off your face. 

To his credit, Colt took it in stride, shaking his head and chuckling.

"nah, doll, we're a package deal. can't make a sandwich with only one skeleton." The monster cooed.

"What does being a skeleton have to do with- oh get bent, I hate you." You groaned, shoving the box of cigars into his chest before hiding your face in your hands to keep the flirty male from seeing your mile-wide smile.

His deep chortle told you he saw it anyway.

Classic cleared his throat.

Right, magical multiverse traveling that should have been impossible. 

Red was looking between Colt and you with an unidentifiable expression.

Stretch spoke up once more.

"... anyway, mind if we borrow one of those cigars? if we can determine just how much magic you put into it, we might be able to nail down the amount it takes to transfer objects between universes by feeding the machine similar magical frequencies from both sides."

Mutt's eye-lights went fuzzy around the edges. "if we get those numbers... we'd be able ta experiment an' get closer ta findin' out how to send us all home..." 

Colt opened the box, retrieving one of the cigars and handing it over to Stretch. "knock yerselves out."

The skeleton took the cigar and immediately walked over to some sort of device in the corner, Mutt trailing after him. 

Classic looked at the two taller skeletons and then back at your little group, sighing heavily. "they're your boss, colt. mind showing them around the house? it's gonna be another all-nighter down here." 

Colt tucked the now closed box into his own inner suit pocket. "don't gotta tell me twice." He turned to you, a mischievous glint in his sockets. "paps was jus in th'kitchen with me before i came to see what all th'hubbub down 'ere was 'bout, ya wanna go scare th'livin' daylights outta 'im?" 

Your lips quirked into a feral grin. It wasn't often you could startle Papyrus anymore, he had quickly gotten used to your 'TINY BUT THREATENING PRESENCE'. 

"that's a yes." Colt sniggered and jerked his head to the side, motioning to the door he had come from. "go on, doll, i'll meetcha up there."

You were off like lightning through the door, racing up the stairs like your life depended on it. 

Unlike the two Papri who had gotten immersed into deconstructing the cigar or Classic who had gone off to do... something with the weapons you had given him, Red witnessed the whole conversation. 

"they're fuckin' batshit crazy..." He mumbled incredulously.

Colt eyed his closest parallel. "sure is."

He smiled.

"s'hot as fuck, ain't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> [My Tumblr!](http://adorible.tumblr.com/)


	3. Back To The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the best way to meet a new pal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter, I apologize! I couldn't really find a sweet spot break that would smoothly transition into the next chapter without writing an extra 2k!

You came to a grinding halt at the last few steps up the stairs, you couldn't exactly scare the socks off of Paps if he heard you coming. 

Inhaling and exhaling through your nose slowly, you bent your knees slightly, lowering your center of gravity. Spreading your legs to be shoulder-width apart and keeping your arms extended somewhat waist level was as easy as blinking for you now. 

Perfecting your stealth came from years of training with the more boisterous of the two brothers... but these basics came from even more years out on the streets. You couldn't be a successful thief if you were heavy-footed, after all.

The first of your muted footsteps put all the weight onto the ball of your left foot, you gingerly tested the next step up, finding it silent, you confidently leaned forward and placed more of your weight onto your leg. Similar tactics were used with your right foot until you were in a smooth rhythm of calmly ascending the last steps.

Reaching the top, you kept yourself low to the ground as you peeked out into the hallway. The lights were on, but it was empty and carpeted with soft grey shag. _Perfect._

You didn't study your surroundings too closely, you had another goal clouding your mind, and if you were going to be living here, then you had plenty of time to take in the sights later. 

Metal colliding together quietly and running water were the only sounds coming from across the hall, you made the assumption that it was the kitchen you were looking for. Only one way to find out.

With one more glance in either direction down the hall, you shot off for the targeted room, the carpet helping aid your silence as you pressed yourself up against the cream-colored wall right outside the arching entryway of the kitchen.

Shifting your weight, you peer into the room, glossing over the foreign machinery and almost immediately locking onto your person of interest.

He had his back turned to you, fully engrossed on washing the dishes, though there was something... off about him. 

He wasn't wearing his usual lead-grey two-piece suit with white stripes. The black button-up and currant-red silk vest had been replaced with some sort of... you didn't even know what to call it.

It was some sort of rounded black armor shell that tapered in just below his ribs and left his lower spine exposed, spiked black pauldrons stood proudly on his shoulders, and a tattered red scarf was gracefully wound around his neck. Black leather pants fitted his bones to give him a bit of bulk as a crimson belt held it firmly to his iliac crest. 

The well shined black oxford dress shoes had been replaced with knee-high boots in a similar color to the belt. A pair of long gloves rested on the counter next to where he was standing, so you could only guess those also belonged to him. 

It wasn't that it was a bad outfit... you just... were used to his business attire. But if he wanted to branch out his fashion when not doing work, who were you to stop him?

A flicker of blue caught your eye, dragging your attention away from your second in command's questionable new tastes. Yet another version of Sans was standing in the kitchen. How did you manage to miss him?

He had a similar-looking chestplate on, only it was a light grey, and his shoulder pads were rounded instead of spiked. A comically large powder-blue bandana was tied neatly around his neck, flared gauntlet gloves a tone darker than the bandana encased his hands. His pants were porpoise-grey and baggy, tucked into aegean-blue calf-high boots. 

Similar to how he had caught your attention, it seemed you had caught his, he was staring at you openly with cerulean eye-lights, blown wide and fuzzy around the circumferences. 

You lifted a hand, placing a finger to your lips, smiling softly before pointing at the unsuspecting tall skeleton still standing dutifully at the sink.

He looked at the other monster and appeared to understand, nodding and making a motion of zipping his teeth, locking it, and flicking away the key. 

Well wasn't that adorable as all get-out. You'd have to properly introduce yourself to him after this. 

Focusing back on Papyrus, you swallowed back a snicker before it could leave your lips, standing up, you rushed forwards, reaching out and grabbing his exposed spine roughly. 

He let out a startled cry, and you used that time to lift your leg and kick him where the back of his tibias melded with his femurs. He buckled easily under the unexpected force. 

He tried reaching behind himself to grab at you, but you ducked under the offending swipes, letting go of his spine in favor of grabbing his wrists and holding them together tightly. Using the momentum of his struggling, you swung both of you around and roughly pinned his kneeling form against the table, skull pressed against the surface. 

Usually, he'd have broken out of your hold at least twice by now, you rarely ever switched up your assault tactics. 

Maybe he was just a bit rusty after not being subjected to your surprises for two weeks. You'd let it slide if he promised to train with you in the early mornings. 

The borderline feral growl that left the skeleton had you leaning over his subdued form, shoving a leg between his to stop him from kicking you off balance, you pressed your forehead to his parietal bone, panting softly. You'd be needing that training as much as he would, you'd lost your touch without someone to spar with. 

He stiffened as your warm breath fanned over him, your words sending a poorly concealed shiver down his spine.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll **_yield._** "

You felt him shift slightly under your weight, opening his mouth to speak-

"eh... doll... whatcha doin'?" 

Colt stood in the arched entryway next to the now shocked looking blue bandana-wearing Sans. 

"Kicking boney ass, Paps didn't even try, are you guys even keeping up your training?" You stood up and released the skeletal wrists from your grasp, patting the monster on the back to signal he could move. "Just because I wasn't around to whip your coccyx into shape, doesn't mean you get to slack-"

"tha's not paps, babydoll."

...

The skeleton you had pinned to the table slowly stood to his feet, turning around to face you. 

It seems you have made a grave error. 

This was indeed not your Papyrus... and you just made him eat table.

Talk about bad first impressions. 

You make it worse.

"Well, you could use some training, my Paps or not."

With your mouth, it was a miracle you hadn't been killed yet. Not for lack of trying though. Bullets really hurt, in case you had somehow forgotten.

The skeleton you had basically assaulted continued to glower down at you, and you _probably_ would have apologized after a few seconds more, but the bandana Sans spoke up.

"WOWZERS!! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE TAKE DOWN EDGE BEFORE!! THAT WAS AMAZING HUMAN!!" He bounced up and down, eye-lights morphing into spinning stars. 

You don't think you've seen Colt exert that much energy in the whole time you've known him. 

Said skeleton chuckled, patting the hyperactive monster on the back before stepping over to you, splaying his hand on the small of your back. "sorry 'bout that edge, we're lookin' fer caliber, ya seen 'im?"

"OH! YES, HE WAS JUST IN HERE!" The starry-eyed skeleton answered for him, smiling giddily. "HE WENT UPSTAIRS TO GET READY FOR HIS SHIFT!"

Colt nodded, pressing on your back to nudge you into walking. "thanks, baby blue. sorry fer splittin' without a proper introduction, ya wanna get black an' powderpuff in th'livin' room fer me? we'll explain it ta ya all at once."

The energetic skeleton practically vibrated as you both passed him, simply nodding and shooting off like a bullet down the hall. You glanced behind you, catching Edge's carmine eye-lights locked intently at you before your vision was obscured by the wall as you walked down the hallway with Colt. 

"So... Baby Blue and Edge, huh?" 

Colt snorted. "s'just blue, but 'e's kinda like a kid inna candy shop, so i call 'im baby blue. turns stretch inta a madman, s'funny as hell." 

You smiled, even if they were only alternate versions of each other, it pleased you to see Colt get along with someone that wasn't you or his brother and father. 

"I'm glad you're getting alo- zowkers! What the fuck is _that?!_ " You cried. You were in the midst of passing by another room when the large frame of black affixed to the wall had caught your attention, displaying images rapidly moving. 

Colt stopped and looked into the room. "what's what?"

"That!" You pointed at the object, a look of abject horror on your face, your head was hurting trying to keep up with how fast things were moving, the bright flashing lights straining your eyes.

"oh, heh, well, shit. s'uh... a television, doll." Colt shrugged.

"Bushwa! You think I'm stupid, Sans? I've seen a damn television in the paper, and that is _not_ what it looked like!" You huffed, turning your gaze away from the mysterious machinery, you felt like you'd vomit if you looked at it any longer.

Colt struggled for a moment before sighing heavily, the bags under his sockets looking much darker as he turned to fully face you. "i know, babydoll... we... we ain't exactly... in 192X anymore..."

You went stiff. "Wh-...What?"

The skeleton shook his head and rubbed the back of his skull. "took me a while ta comprehend it m'self... but uh... doll... we're in 202X."

It didn't take you long to do the mental math.

"Sans..."

He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "y-yeah, doll?"

"Are you saying we're over a hundred years in the future?"

"heh... welcome ta th'future?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> [My Tumblr!](http://adorible.tumblr.com/)


	4. Dizzy With A Don

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue isn't the only one with a crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mfw I can finally add some much-needed tags. Granted the sexual tension is a TAD bit early but oopsie my fingers slipped.

If you still had your pistols, you would have shot him point-blank. 

"How do you just fail to mention we're in the future, Sans?!" You throw your arms in the air, pacing back and forth in the hallway. 

"it never came up! an' need i mention ya were in th'basement! it was loaded with gizmos an' ya never asked 'bout it!" Colt watched you walk the same line repeatedly, eye-lights shrinking down to focused pinpricks, a low growl bubbling in his throat. 

You stopped, looked at Colt, scoffed, and then resumed pacing.

"Well, excuse me for not stopping to gather rosebuds while I was trying to figure out where my blockheaded skeletons had been spirited off too! I can't exactly take in my surroundings _and_ focus on which monster needs to eat lead in order for me to get some answers!" 

Colt let the growl grow, taking a few steps forward and effectively stopping your pacing in its tracks, backing you up against the wall. You were too busy fuming to really notice your positions. 

"well," He snarled. "it ain't m'fault yer such a tunnel-visioned egg that can't see two feet ta th'left o' ya! ya always been oblivious, an' ya can't blame me fer thinkin' maybe just this once yer gonna notice how i really feel-"

"WHAT IS ALL THE YELLING FOR, BROTHER?!" 

The shrill and scratchy voice coming from your left was as ironically soothing as it could have been. You knew that voice well. 

"HONESTLY, WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU CHOOSE NOW TO THROW AN ING-BING LIKE YOU DO WITH D-" Caliber choked on his words, standing rigid at the top of the staircase. 

You smiled, he was wearing his standard suit. He looked amazing, and Edge would probably look just as spiffy if he wore a suit as well. 

"DOLL...?" He spoke softly, unsure if what he was seeing was true, or just a cruel trick on his eyes. He wouldn't put it past himself to start hallucinating about you when you had already plagued his dreams. 

The small wave and laugh you directed at him was enough to dispel those worries. He was down the stairs and you were scooped into the air faster than you could blink. 

As quick as you had been lifted, you were lowered. Caliber sank to his knees, cradling you like you were a small child. He buried his skull into the crook of your neck, showing no signs of leaving the embrace anytime soon, not that you minded. 

You glanced at Colt, who was watching from where you had both stood moments ago. Catching your stare, he sighed and shook his head. Walking the short distance over to your hug pile, he kneeled down and pressed his forehead to yours. 

"we missed ya, babydoll." He murmured hoarsely. 

\---------------------------------------------

Your little moment went on for a minute longer before you all decided it was time to get up.

As you stood, the skeletons took to either of your sides like it was the most natural place to be. Colt on the left, Caliber on the right. 

They escorted you back into the room with the accursed _television_. At your noticeable discomfort, Colt picked up... something... and pointed it at the machinery, a quick press of his thumb and the images on the screen blacked out, leaving you in silence. 

You shot him a grateful look before turning to look further into the room, where two skeletons you had yet to meet were seated on the sofa, along with a restless Blue and an impatient Edge, who was tapping his foot and had his arms crossed. 

The Sans of the two new skeletons scoffed and rolled his periwinkle eye-lights. 

"YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE TO MEET A STUPID HUMAN?" His tone was snarky and clipped, like he held himself higher than humans.

He looked... a lot like Blue. Except less precious, more pretentious. His outfit was near identical to Blue's save for the colors and a few spikier aspects. 

An obsidian-black chestplate and angular pauldrons trimmed with gold. Blood-red elbow-length gloves with edged fin-like protrusions coming out from the upper forearm. A tattered but still neatly folded crimson bandana was tied around his neck. 

Black shorts with a gold spiked belt keeping it tight in place on his pelvic bones, knee-high dark red boots fit snugly on his crossed legs. He sported three long gashes through his left socket. This was definitely some angry version of Blue. 

"NOW BLACK, THAT IS NOT A VERY POLITE THING TO SAY ABOUT OUR GUEST!" The last new skeleton scolded the now named Black. That must make this one... Powderpuff, was it? You were sure that's what Colt had called him at least.

He gave you the same energetic and innocent feeling Blue did, and you decided you liked him just as much. You'd kill for these two happy-go-lucky monsters, no doubt about it, they were under your protection now.

Powderpuff was a Papyrus, quite obviously from his sheer height alone. He was wearing short blue shorts in a style you were sure you'd seen a flapper or two wear before, red gloves, white ground grippers and a simple white t-shirt with the saying... 'Rad Dude'... on it?

What... did rad mean...?

You could tell you would be asking questions like that a lot.

"WELCOME TO OUR HOME, HUMAN! YOU COME FROM COLT AND CALIBER'S UNIVERSE, CORRECT? YOU MUST BE JUST AS CONFUSED AND THEY WERE THEN, BUT FEAR NOT! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL HELP YOU GET ACCUSTOMED TO THIS WORLD AND ITS TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES!" He loudly proclaimed, placing a hand on his chest, puffing out his ribs and donning a proud smile from his seat on the couch. 

"OH! OH ME TOO! I WANT TO HELP THE HUMAN GET USED TO THIS WORLD TOO!" Blue shot out of his seat, the stars returning to his sockets.

"THIS IS IDIOTIC, I AM LEAVING." Black huffed and stood, eye-lights burning into you. "HUMAN, YOU WILL NOT BOTHER ME, IF YOU EVEN SO MUCH AS LOOK AT ME THE WRONG WAY I'LL-"

Colt and Caliber pressed into your sides, you didn't have to look at them to know they were pinning the skeleton with murderous stares. 

The hint of nervousness in his stance was quickly replaced with faux confidence. 

"TSK, WHATEVER. JUST DON'T BOTHER ME." Black stormed out of the living room, loud footfalls going up the stairs and getting fainter.

"damn brat..." Colt huffed out, getting a short nod of agreement from Caliber. 

You had to stifle a laugh, despite you being able to take down several men three times your size, they'd never stop being overly protective of you as they had been since the day they found you. Old habits die hard.

Blue bounced up to you, looking hopeful. Whatever it was, you would say yes. 

"HUMAN-" He began.

"You can call me Y/n, angel." You nearly cooed at the blue flush that drowned his entire face at the term of endearment. 

"Y-Y/N! I-I... I WAS THINKING, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING WITH YOU, AND I DOUBT ANYONE'S CLOTHES WOULD FIT YOU, AND YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT THIS WORLD SO-... SO WOULD YOU-ONLY IF YOU WANT TO OF COURSE! WOULD YOU- UM... WITH ME!" 

His struggle to find the right words was adorable, and you smiled patiently at him as he started to shift nervously. You could hear Colt snickering beside you, but it was cut short with a swift jab of your elbow to his ribs.

Blue seemed to find his courage, looking at you with determination in his sockets. "I FIGURED THAT IT WOULD BE THE BEST PLACE TO LEARN! AND THAT MAYBE YOU COULD FIND THINGS THAT ARE STILL THE SAME! SO HOW ABOUT YOU AND I GO TO-" 

"THE MALL! A FANTASTIC IDEA, BLUE!" Powderpuff snapped his fingers, standing up and clapping his hands. "WE CAN MAKE A GROUP TRIP OUT OF IT, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE ALL DID SOMETHING TOGETHER!"

Blue looked absolutely devastated. You weren't stupid, the poor skeleton was looking to take you out on a night on the town. Alone. It was a shame, it would have been fun to humor him. 

"OH... YES... EVERYONE..." The life that had just been sucked out of him had returned full force, he puffed his chest out and placed his hands on his hips. "MWEH-HEH-HEH! YES! DON'T WORRY, Y/N! THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE KNOWS ALL THE BEST STORES! I WILL BE YOUR PERSONAL GUIDE! AND THE OTHERS CAN HELP YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IF MY EXPLANATION ISN'T CLEAR ENOUGH!"

He was practically sparkling with how bright he was beaming.

"That sounds lovely, angel." The flush returned, though you only caught a glimpse of it as you turned to face the skeletons at your sides. "You two in or out?" 

Colt snorted. "an' miss yer reaction ta a movement sensin' door? not a fat chance 'n hell. we're comin'."

You scrunched up your face. "A what now?"

He snickered and Caliber rolled his eyes at his brother's antics. 

"who's th'poor sap now, eh doll?" He sang as he motioned for you to exit the room, and you easily complied, though you didn't know which direction to go in. 

"Oh shove it up your-" Your arm was grabbed, and your boys immediately stiffened.

Edge had gotten off the couch without you noticing and now held your arm firmly, without hurting you. You thought for sure he would throw you across the room now as revenge for pinning him to the table.

"I ACCEPT." 

You sputtered. "P-Pardon?"

He looked as if you had just asked the dumbest question he had ever heard. 

"YOUR OFFER TO TRAIN WITH ME, I ACCEPT IT." He restated. 

You perked. That was way better than being tossed across the room! 

"Nerts! How's about we start tomorrow, the crack of dawn? That's usually when Pap- er Caliber and I begin! I'll go easy on you, cross my heart." You winked playfully. 

His grip on your arm tightened, but it was quickly joined by a hold on your other arm. 

Blue looked like a begging puppy. 

"MAY I TRAIN WITH YOU TOO, Y/N? I'M REALLY GOOD AT OBSTACLE COURSES! I CAN TEACH YOU NEW TECHNIQUES AND YOU CAN HELP WITH THE OLD ONES!" 

How could you ever say no to that face?

You tugged your arm away from Edge's death grip, now using your free hand to pat Blue's that was clutching onto you like a child would their mother. 

"'Course you can! The more the merrier, it'll be swell to see different fighting styles!" You grinned, eyes catching the poorly concealed pleading stare of a skeleton. 

You tittered. "You're invited too, Powderpuff."

The large smile he gave you was sweeter than an entire candy shop's stock. 

Unbeknownst to you, the two suited skeletons watched on in contempt as you were surrounded with the three other monsters, making plans and chatting like you were all old pals. 

But as you looked over at the mobsters and smiled, they relaxed. 

After all.

You had never recognized their attempts of wooing you, they were sure you wouldn't know seriously flirting if it shot you in the head. 

And besides, they had the upper hand of knowing you longer. Your likes and dislikes, your horrible past, and what makes you tick. 

Without the unneeded stress that came with being a don, maybe you'd finally take notice of their efforts. 

You could finally relax in this world, and they would give you everything you ever wanted. 

If only you could just _see_ that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> [My Tumblr!](http://adorible.tumblr.com/)


	5. Hey! I'm Walkin' Here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you think even the worst person can change?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> =)
> 
> Let's delve into doll's true character, shall we?

You hadn't even made it to the mall yet, and you were already learning new things. 

Like how apparently people just didn't give a damn about appearances anymore. 

Powderpuff had gone off to gather the rest of the skeletons for your impromptu shopping adventure, and when he returned with everyone still wearing the same clothing, you were more than a little confused.

"Why are you still in your loungewear?" Your question had quite a few skulls turning to look at you. 

Blue looked down at his attire, frowning. "THESE AREN'T PAJAMAS THOUGH, Y/N?"

You shook your head. "No, no. Not nighties, _loungewear_. The clothes you wear at home when you aren't expecting company?" You had hoped that would be a clear enough explanation. 

They still looked confused. You sighed heavily. 

"Okay. What do you all wear when you go out to... let's say... a clip joint- er, sorry, _party_ with friends?" You proposed.

"THIS???" Powderpuff frowned.

Okay. Stay calm. 

"H-How about... when you have someone over for dinner...?"

"this, bud, these are our daily outfits." Classic raised a browbone.

You were horrified. 

"You just... wear the same thing every day? Regardless of what you do?"

"OF COURSE NOT! WE WEAR SPORTSWEAR FOR TRAINING, AND BUTTON UPS FOR MEETINGS WITH THE KING!" Powderpuff exclaimed.

You felt faint. "J-Just...button ups...for royalty..."

Colt and Caliber chose now to come rejoin the group, they had left to call off of work and get ready to spend the day out. Your knees nearly gave out at their new outfits. 

Colt had shed his pressed suit, now wearing loose and soft-looking grey pants paired with a dark red t-shirt and black cardigan, his usual shined oxfords had been replaced by black kicks. 

Caliber's outfit was better, but not by much. He was wearing herringbone-patterned black slacks, a white button-up, and a wine-red blazer with shoes similar in color and style to Colt's.

"What in god's name are you wearing..." You mourned the loss of the formal attire you had grown accustomed to seeing them in. 

It took them a moment to realize what was wrong. 

Colt barked out a laugh, coming over to your distressed form and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

"times've changed, babydoll, people don't usually get all gussied up 'less they're goin' somewhere real fancy-like. what yer wearin' right now? s'bout as spiffy as someone could get now'a'days."

"But these _are_ my casual clothes!" You cried.

Colt gave you a gentle pat on the cheek and you had half a mind to bite his phalanges clean off. 

"that's why we're goin' out ta get ya some new duds, doll, ya keep wearin' suits ta casual outin's an' people'll think yer a wierdo." He chortled and moved passed you towards the door that you assumed lead outside. 

"Dressing nice shows you care... what has this world come to..." You grumbled, mumbling other things about 'no respect' and 'today's youth' as you followed the mob of skeletons out the door. 

You were correct about your assumption of it being the front door. A large and well-maintained yard expanded well over a few acres, a gravel driveway cutting through the grass and disappearing off into the line of trees in the distance. 

You hadn't ever had a reason to leave the bustling city life in your own universe, as that's where all the business deals had been held, but you could see the appeal of living in solitude for the people who... weren't in your line of work.

The white-painted porch you now stood on had a large staircase leading down to a little pathway that veered off to the side of the house, and you took a moment to turn around to see the home you had been thrown into the basement of. 

It was rather large, a three-story red-bricked mansion with white lattice windows and a black shingled roof.

You whistled.

"You sure have the bees around here." You eagerly awaited the unanimous reaction.

"don't bother askin', s'not real bees, doll means yer rich." Colt huffed out, patting your back and walking down the stairs. You pouted at the ruined opportunity. 

Caliber offered his arm out to you, and you locked yours with his as he lead you down the steps and along the pathway, stopping beside you when you halted in your tracks at the sight of all the cars in the driveway. 

You'd only ever seen that many fancy cars at warehouses during _very_ illegal business meetings.

Granted, these vehicles were much more advanced, you had expected that at the very least. 

The sleek exteriors were nothing like the boxy rectangular models of your time, and you couldn't recognize a single brand logo any of the automobiles sported. 

The brightest was a shiny cherry-red convertible with white leather seats and black trim. Next in line was a smooth and flat vehicle that reminded you of the Rolls-Royce Phantom I you had seen modeled in the paper a few years prior. It was a beautiful matte black with matching black leather seats with red trim on the tires. 

The only other large vehicle was a pickup truck painted rust orange, and although the color was a bit of an eyesore, the model was beautiful and looked perfect for offroading. 

Among the cars were two matching motorcycles, one in powder-blue and the other in plum-purple. You could probably place a name to every automobile easily. 

"yer choice o' who ta ride with, doll, we ain't been 'ere long 'nough ta get our licenses yet." Colt explained and motioned to the vehicles.

It was no contest. It was your favorite color after all. It reminded you of two very important skeletons. 

You walked over to the cherry-red convertible. Powderpuff cheered.

"GOODIE! YOU GET TO RIDE WITH MY BROTHER AND I! THE BACK SEAT IS LARGE ENOUGH FOR COLT AND CALIBER TO COME ALONG AS WELL!" He spoke excitedly, though Classic looked downright miserable.

With that settled, everyone went to their appropriate vehicle. Edge and Red went predictably to the matte black sports car, Stretch and Mutt piled into the pickup, Blue mounted his motorcycle and Black his.

Powderpuff slid into the driver's seat, and Classic climbed into the passenger side. Colt took the far left back seat, you claimed the middle and Caliber sat in the only available seat left. You were sandwiched comfortably between the two, just as you usually were, sitting or not. 

Powderpuff started the car and pulled down the long driveway, you closed your eyes and smiled at the feeling of the cool morning air rushing past you.

"OH I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING Y/N! I REMEMBER MY SHOCK WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED ON THE SURFACE! SO MANY NEW THINGS TO EXPLORE AND LEARN ABOUT! I THINK THE MUSIC MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY FAVORITE PART!" He suddenly gasped. "OH! YES! MUSIC! WHY DONT WE LISTEN TO SOME ON THE WAY? THAT WAY YOU CAN COMPARE WHAT IS THE SAME AND WHAT IS DIFFERENT!" 

You grinned, not bothering to open your eyes. "Sounds lovely, hit the tunes, sweetheart!" Had you have had your eyes open, you would have noticed the tangerine flush on Powderpuff's zygomatic arches. Or Classic's lack of eye-lights. 

The driving skeleton reached over, pressing a button and turning on the radio, turning up the volume dial. Music immediately blasted through the speakers.

_Anime bitches, I look at her titties  
Then I take her home and we count up these fifties  
I come to your city, I sneak in yo' chimney  
I tickle her kidney and then I watch Disney  
I love me some hentai, I go on Xvideos-_

Your eyes shot open and you went stiff. Colt let out a strangled noise, leaning away from you and covering his mouth to hide his loud guffaws. 

Powderpuff fumbled for a moment before pressing another button, switching the station. "I AM SO SORRY! I DO NOT KNOW WHY IT WAS ON THAT STATION I-"

_I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches  
I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches (Ho)  
Big booty bitches, big, big bo-_

Powderpuff muffled a screech by clamping his teeth together.

Colt was currently dying from the lack of oxygen he didn't need from trying to keep his laughter in, and Caliber clenched his fists, teeth threatening to curve upward.

Classic was sweating bullets. "u-uh, paps, maybe we should-"

The button was pressed once more.

_My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't  
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun-_

Powderpuff slammed his hand over the original button, turning off the radio. 

"OKAY!!!! NO MUSIC!!!"

Silence.

"Well... Looks like much hasn't changed except some slang... what's hentai mean?" You mused.

Colt lost it, slapping his hand against his femur, cackling like a madman. Even Caliber joined in with some poorly concealed chuckles behind his hand.

Nobody answered your question for the entire trip, no matter how many times you asked. 

\-------------------------------------------------

You arrived at the shopping mall half an hour later, parking in a relatively empty lot, the other skeletons quickly found spaces nearby. 

Once everyone was out, you all regrouped to discuss the plan of action. It seemed like many of the other skeletons needed things of their own.

"I WILL GO WITH Y/N!" Blue almost immediately volunteered and bounced over to you. You smiled and gave him a wink. His face flushed the familiar baby blue of his namesake. 

He was so cute. 

"guess that means i'm coming along." Stretch drawled lazily, meandering over to stand next to his brother. 

"MUTT AND I WILL MEET YOU ALL AT THE FOOD COURT AT 1 PM SHARP! I HAVE NO INTEREST IN WATCHING THE HUMAN MAKE A FOOL OF THEMSELF!" Was the only thing Black said before stomping off with his own brother in tow. 

Edge crossed his arms, looking at you. "WE WILL J-"

"a-actually boss, uh... kinda need yer help with somethin'... yeah... uh... just th'two o' us..." Red turtled into his hoodie at the glare Edge aimed at him. 

"...VERY WELL. WE WILL ALSO BE MEETING YOU AT THE FOOD COURT THEN." He huffed out, and Red visibly relaxed. Both skeletons glanced at you once more before heading off.

You half expected Classic to drag Powderpuff off as well, but he stayed silent, avoiding eye contact. 

"Right then, we better get inside and decide where to head first, yeah? Ready to be my guide, Blue?" You hummed, offering your arm. 

He nodded eagerly, and instead of locking arms, he grabbed your hand and tugged you along. You didn't offer a drop of protest. 

You happily followed him closer to the mall, nearly running into him as he stopped abruptly. He was vibrating in place. 

"Uhhh... angel?" You frowned. "Something wron-"

He turned to you, stars in his sockets. Letting go of your hand, he motioned to the glass doors a few feet away. "WOULD YOU MIND OPENING THE DOORS FOR ME?"

You laughed, walking ahead. "Why, I would be _honored_ to, angel." You reached a hand forward to push the doors open, but they slid to the sides on their own, and a cool rush of wind slapped you in the face. You jumped back with a startled yelp. 

Several snickers sounded out behind you. You had been set up. 

You whipped around to scowl at your peanut gallery, face heating with embarrassment.

"Oh yeah, laugh it up! Make fun of the person who knows where you sleep!" You hissed.

The heckling stopped. 

"That's what I thought." You grumbled and turned back around. The doors had closed, but when you stepped forward again, they opened once more, and the wind rushed around you. You hesitantly entered, sighing in relief as the doors didn't close around you mid-step and crush you.

Blue joined back at your side, smiling softly. "I'M SORRY, Y/N. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE THINGS FIRST HAND INSTEAD OF US DOING THEM FOR YOU... ARE YOU MAD?"

You returned the gentle smile. "No, I'm not mad. Just warn a pal next time, okay angel? We're lucky I didn't have my pistols, muscle reaction is to shoot when I'm startled." You laughed nervously. That would have been bad. 

The skeleton beside you lit up. "YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN? CAN YOU DO ANY OF THOSE COOL TRICKS? LIKE WHERE THEY DODGE ROLL AND STILL AIM PERFECTLY AND GET THE BAD GUYS?" 

Oh lord help you, he was looking at you like you were his role model.

You rubbed the back of your neck. You didn't know how to explain that... well... you _were_ the bad guy. 

"Uh, well... I suppose I could do something like that if I really tried...?" You hoped that was a good enough answer. 

"WILL YOU SHOW ME SOMETIME?"

Ah shit, what the hell. You really couldn't say no to him.

You glanced back, everyone was a good few feet away from you and Blue. No way they'd be able to hear you over the natural bustle happening around you. 

"Sure thing, angel. But you can't tell anyone else, alright? It's uh... super-secret techniques. Only really cool people get to see, and you're the only one who qualifies. We don't want any of the others catching wind and thinking they aren't cool-cats, right?" You offered.

He too glanced back, before lowering his voice and nodding. "I Promise. I Won't Tell A Soul." 

You gave the monster a genuine smile, tilting your head to the side. 

"You know, I just remembered something. Back home, we got a lot of different words for things. Lots of nicknames and the like. Like how Colt and Caliber call me doll?" 

Blue nodded, showing he was following along. 

"Well, there's this slang... Blue Serge. You usually say something like... ah.. 'that's his Blue Serge.' Means they're his sweetheart, lover, and stuff." You eyed the skeleton as you both walked. He looked lost now. 

You snickered.

"So... what I'm getting at is... is your full name Blue Serge, or can I just call you 'mine'?" You cooed. 

His skull erupted into the pretty blue shade of his magic and he nearly tripped over his own feet. 

You laughed, almost in tears as he stumbled over his words, trying to form a sentence without squeaking. 

"I!!! THAT!!! I-" 

Blue yelped.

You immediately stiffened. That was a pained cry. 

Turning to see what had happened, Blue was flat on his back on the ground, a man standing over him. 

You bristled.

"Watch where you're walking, fucking monster scum." The man spat, sidestepping Blue and stalking off. 

You stood stock still, Blue got up with the help of Stretch who had rushed over to check on his brother. 

You locked eyes with Colt and Caliber. You swelled with momentary pride. They were already awaiting orders. 

You sent a stiff nod their way, and just like that, they turned on their heels and broke off from the group, disappearing into the crowds.

You focused back on Blue, who was now surrounded by his brother along with Powderpuff and Classic. 

"You okay, angel? Nothing hurt?" You frowned as you looked him over, nothing seemingly wrong.

"I'M ALRIGHT! NO WORRIES!" He smiled shakily. "HE WAS PROBABLY JUST HAVING A BAD DAY, NO HARM NO FOUL." 

You furrowed your brows. "Blue... he called you scum. I'd say he's got more than just a bad day wrong with him." 

He waved off your accusations. "HUMANS ARE STILL GETTING USED TO MONSTERS. HE WAS JUST... MISGUIDED IS ALL! I'M SURE IF HE MAKES SOME MONSTER FRIENDS, HE'LL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!" 

You couldn't fathom how he could have such a positive outlook on things like that. Stretch and Classic looked like they were thinking the same thing. 

Powderpuff beamed. "THAT'S RIGHT! ALL WE CAN DO IS EXTEND OUR HANDS IN FRIENDSHIP AND WAIT FOR THEM TO SEE WE MEAN NO HARM! THEY CAN ALL DO A LITTLE BETTER, EVEN IF THEY DON'T THINK SO!" 

Classic winced at that. 

You sighed. "Don't hold your breath, ...some humans... can't shed their violent ways so easily." You would know. 

Blue shook his head. "ANYONE CAN IF THEY GIVE IT THEIR ALL! PEOPLE ONLY HURT OTHERS BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES ARE HURTING! IF THEY WERE HAPPY, THEY WOULDN'T LIKE TO HURT OTHERS!" 

You wished that was true.

You took Blue's hand, nodding in a random direction. "Alright, you've convinced me, you really are an angel. Now come on, no more serious talks, let's go scare the pants off of me with more future things!" 

\-------------------------------------------------

You hardly paid attention to any of the things Blue was showing you, and you felt guilty about it, but you just couldn't get what he said out of your mind...

Did he really think it was that simple? Was he that naive? 

Humans were horrible beings. No matter how happy they could be, no matter how thickly lined their pockets were. They always wanted more. They always did things just because they could. 

Humans were disgusting. 

You were disgusting.

"doll."

You didn't look away from the rack of clothing you were absentmindedly picking over, you had given Blue free reign over your new wardrobe. 

"s'ready."

You nodded numbly, stepping back and glancing at Colt. 

"Let's blouse."

You took one more look at Blue who was pouring over a rack of clothing not too far away, etching his happy expression into your mind before you were pulled into the void. 

**_You'd make sure he never got hurt again._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> [My Tumblr!](http://adorible.tumblr.com/)


	6. Blood And Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A don's work is never done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the user who leaves a new string of keysmashes on their bookmark every time I update, this one's for you!
> 
> ALSO BIG OL WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER!! Gore and torture!! Murder!! Mocking the police I guess?? Proceed with caution if that stuff makes you uncomfortable!

You had long since gotten used to taking shortcuts with Colt. It was a regular occurrence in your world. After all, nobody could tamper with your ride when a deal went awry if said ride was a 6'5" skeleton. 

The brief sensory deprivation that came with entering the void offered a moment of clarity to gather your thoughts. You didn't have to focus on anything other than yourself. 

The way your heart beat steadily in your chest, your calm and even breathing, and your body, buzzing with the magic surrounding you to transport you across space and time, not a twitchy muscle in sight.

This was just business as usual. 

There was no need to get worked up. 

Emotions played no part in 'interrogations'. 

Distance yourself. 

Your trip was over all too soon, the stuffy and damp air that hit you as you were spat out of the void was grounding. 

It smelled of mildew and rot, telltale signs of abandonment and neglect. It reminded you of an alley you had once called home, before the brothers. 

The room Colt had ported you both into was falling apart. The concrete flooring and walls were littered with cracks and chips, rust stains, and winding weeds struggling to survive with the minuscule sunlight pouring through the small broken windows positioned high on the walls. A splintering and rotting door that looked moments away from falling off its rusted hinges stood before you.

Wherever this was, you were in the basement of the building. The natural soundproofing the underground room gave would be needed. 

Colt's large hands were on your shoulders, and you instinctively relaxed your arms as his phalanges latched onto the lapels of your blazer, sliding it off of you with practiced ease. Folding it neatly and laying it over his bent arm. 

Inhale.

Exhale. 

You rolled up the cuffed sleeves of your dress shirt, thankful for its maroon color. Bloodstains were always a bitch and a half to get out of lighter material.

Your first step towards the door was met with a resounding crunch, you looked down to see you had further shattered a glass pane, most likely from one of the broken windows above. 

A handful of your translucent reflections stared back at you, your eyes were dull and your lips were set into a thin line. You looked intimidating enough. 

Crushing more glass and rubble underfoot, you pushed the door open with your hand, not giving the splinters that dug into your skin any attention. You had other things to worry about, like the slumped figure sitting chained to a dilapidated wood chair in the center of the room. 

You raised an eyebrow. "You knocked him out?"

Caliber scoffed, leaned against the furthest wall. This room was just as ruined as the previous one.

"HARDLY. HE PASSED OUT AS SOON AS HE REALIZED WHO GRABBED HIM."

Nodding, you walked over to the motionless form, leaning down slightly to grab his chin, tilting his head up. He had been gagged with Caliber's tie. 

His stubble pricked your fingers as you pulled his face side to side, examining him. His face was sickly pale and the bags under his eyes were heavy with stress, lips chapped and cracking. He smelled of cheap booze and ash, nothing like the rich scent of good whiskey and tobacco Colt seemed to permeate all day. 

His red choppy crew-cut hair was slick with grease, white t-shirt wrinkled with poorly washed out stains clinging to the fabric, cargo pants sporting a heavy amount of rips and tears, tennis shoes ratty and practically falling apart.

You hadn't gotten a good look at him before, but to be frank...

"He looks like shit." You mused.

Colt snorted as he closed the decaying door, not that it would do much for noise cancelation, but it was a formality all the same.

"yeah, an' we didn't even touch 'im yet."

You gave the man a few good pats on his cheek, dropping his head as he began to stir. Walking over to a rusted metal table that held several items, you looked them all over. A leather wallet, a black bomber jacket, a well-loved pocket knife, some rusted screws, needle-nose pliers, and... a gun. 

You glanced at Caliber and he shrugged.

"IT'S WHAT HE HAD ON HIM AND WHAT WE FOUND AROUND HERE."

"didn't 'ave a whole lotta time ta get somethin' better with such short notice." Colt hummed, taking a similar leaning position next to his younger brother.

"It'll do, I'm not too keen on making this a long game, anyway." You eyed the man in the chair as he stirred further, struggling to lift his head, squinting his eyes while his vision adjusted to the dark.

You picked up the wallet, flipping it open to the identification card. "Tell me about him."

"johnathan clarke, 34 years old, lives inna dingy lil apartment, dunno where 'e works, prolly a mechanic with all those grease stains. yer average joe, a nobody."

You hum, finger grazing over the information that matched up on his driver's license. "His car?"

"DUMPED MILES AWAY IN THE PARKING LOT OF A CONVENIENCE STORE."

Your guest seemed to finally grasp where he was, making a noise of distress behind the gag, struggling and making the chains rattle around him.

You smile. "Heya bud, have a good nap?" 

He froze, eyes darting over to you, going wide with what you hoped was realization. If he didn't remember you, he would real soon.

You close the wallet and set it down, lifting the sleeve of the jacket, rubbing the material between your fingers. "Nice coat, pal, you got good tastes."

He stared at you, sweat trickling down his forehead.

"Not much of a talker, are you?" You laugh at your own joke, nodding at him. "Right, right, the gag." You lazily tilt your head in the direction of your two skeletal companions. 

"How far away from civilization are we?" 

"'bout an 'our, give 'r take." Colt rumbled.

Good enough.

You move towards Johnathan, taking sadistic pleasure in how he trembles as you stop next to his chair, leaning down and undoing the gag, it didn't even hit the floor before he started screaming at the top of his lungs.

You humored him. 

"H-Help! Help please someone! Help me! He-"

He let out a pained cry as you drew back your fist and connected it to his jaw with a sickening crack, the chair wobbled with the force behind the punch.

It didn't matter if the noise came from your knuckles or his jaw, It felt _good._

His shoulders sagged, head lowering, a steady stream of blood running from his now busted lip. 

"You got a family, bud?"

Silence.

You sighed. They always thought silence was a good answer, didn't they?

Your steps were calm and measured as you walked back over to the table, easily picking up the knife and flicking it open, returning to the chair quickly, pressing the sharpened blade to his throat. He stiffened.

"I don't want to have to ask again. But for you? I guess I'll make an exception. Now... you got a family?" You growled the inquiry.

It took him a moment, but he eventually answered. 

"Y-Yes... two little girls... twins..." He swallowed, adam's apple pressing his skin taut against the edge of the knife, a hairline cut forming. 

You glanced at Colt, who had his sockets narrowed at the human. "i ain't seen no girl's things in th'room-"

You pressed the blade harder against his neck and he began to panic.

"Th-They live with m-my ex-wife! I-I only get t-to see them f-for three hours o-on the weekends, I swear!" He cried out.

You eased the blade away slightly, a pleased coo coming from your mouth. "Was that so hard?"

You didn't wait for him to answer. "So... you got a family, two little ladies. They got names?"

"J-Jenny... and Claire..." His voice was hardly above a whisper. 

You nodded, taking the blade away completely. "You'd do anything for them, right?"

He chanced a glance at you, and you smiled patiently at him. He gave you a stiff nod. 

Your eye twitched. "That so? Mind telling me why you only get to see them for so little time then?" 

He sighed softly. "I... was a bad drinker... she... my wife filed for divorce after she found out she was pregnant... I wasn't allowed to see them for... for the first few years... b-but... I started getting help and... we worked something out..."

You whistled, eyebrows raising. "I'm impressed, that's a real hard habit to quit, pal. Congrats."

"But uh, to be honest, I wasn't really talking about that kind of family." You chuckled as he looked at you nervously. 

"Family isn't always your own flesh and blood, or magic and dust, you know? Sometimes family is the ones you'd be willing to bleed for." Your eyes trailed over to Colt and Caliber, expression softening before you focused back on the bleeding man in front of you. "...and that skeleton you knocked over today? He's **_my_** family, buddy."

Ah, there it was, the green of his eyes seemed to grow lighter in his fear, pupils constricting smaller and smaller, breath catching in his throat, bloodstained lips trembling. He remembered.

"Th-That w-was an a-a-accident I-I-He-I didn't s-see him I-I just-" 

You punched him again, and this time the crunch came from the cartilage in his nose.

You rubbed your knuckles, you were certain they would be sore in the morning, but it would be well worth it. 

For Blue. 

"I'm sure the whole thing was just a big ol' misunderstanding. You didn't _mean_ to knock him on his ass, you didn't _mean_ to call him _fucking monster scum_ " You snarled, grabbing his hair and yanking his head back as he sobbed in pain.

"Pal, the second those words came out of your filthy mouth, you joined another family. The monster-hating one." The chuckle that left you was devoid of humor. You let go of his hair, walking back over to the table and setting the knife down, your hands grazed along the other weapons. 

"Now, I don't really know how it works around here yet, but where I'm from, you mess with a skeleton, you **die**." You picked up the rusted screws and the pliers, heading back over as his sobs quieted. 

"P-P-Please... I-I-I'm s-sorry..." He begged.

You ignored him. 

"Granted, I'm not really the one blipping them off usually, my boys can handle themselves just fine." You sang the praise, leaning over his shaking body. "But, you see, I've taken quite a softy under my wing recently."

You grabbed one of his wrists, keeping his hand flat to the armrest. "Blue's a real sweetheart, always so damn happy and more than willing to see the good in everyone. He tries real hard to believe that despite someone's past, they're a good person deep down, who doesn't really like to hurt others." You lined up one of the screws with his middle finger. 

"And right now pal... you're making me prove him wrong. 'Cause I am really _really_ enjoying hurting you." You slammed the screw down, and Johnathan recoiled at the pain, further tearing the flesh off his finger in the process. 

You spoke over his wails of agony. "Oops, sorry about that Johnny-boy, should've told you to keep still, or else this is gonna hurt a whole lot worse, you dig?" 

You began to twist the screw in deeper, the stench of blood wafting up as the revolting tear of flesh coupled with it. You hilted it down to the head, pressing against his now mangled finger, the threads latching into the soft rotting wood and keeping his finger in place. 

How coincidental that you had enough screws for each finger to be bolted down.

The entire time, Johnathan was pleading for his life, spitting profanities at you and sobbing in anguish. It was music to your ears. 

You were glad you had rolled up your sleeves and Colt had taken your coat, your hands were slick with warm blood, and bits of flesh that had been torn off from the screws driven into his fingers stuck to your skin. 

You admired your _handy_ -work, a wicked smile curling your lips. You held up the pliers for your victim to see. 

"It would've gotten real tiring to hold your hands down for this next part, hope you don't mind me being a lazy sack of shit."

He drew back, and you immediately knew what he was going to do. The bloodied spit that landed on your cheek wasn't even rewarded with a flinch. 

You shook your head. 

"You already dug your own damn grave, boy. Why are you so fucking insistent on making it deeper?" 

"F-Fuck y-you..." He choked out. 

"That was weak, got anything else?" You giggled.

"Th-The police... they'll f-find me... a-and th-then y-you'll be put away for fucking life." The threat was met with an unimpressed look.

You placed the pliers to his thumbnail. "If there's something I'm sure of that hasn't changed in a hundred years, it's how corrupt the police are. They've never cared about the lower class."

You smiled bitterly. "Never cared about people like us. So we gotta be our own law. Justice of our own accord and all that good stuff." You yanked _hard_ and his thumbnail ripped off with only slight resistance.

He swore and jolted, hands straining against the screws.

The other nails were gifted with similar reactions.

You hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'm actually pretty damn flabbergasted you haven't passed out from shock yet. That's pretty neat. It's always better when I get conscious reactions."

"Y-Y-You... You... You're so fucked up... you're fucking crazy..." He bit out through gritted teeth. 

You sneered. "I'm getting tired of your mouthy shit, lets fix that." You dropped the pliers, visiting the table of tools again, picking up the pocket knife for the second time. 

"Keep his mouth open for me." You ordered. 

Caliber stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. 

Johnathan clamped his teeth together, daring the skeleton to try and pry his mouth open. 

"THAT IS A PATHETIC ATTEMPT." He chuckled darkly, raising his foot and slamming it down onto Johnathan's, the dull snap of bones shattering was paired with a shout that had his mouth opening just enough for the skeleton to hook his phalanges on his teeth and force his jaw open. 

You leaned over as Caliber made room for you to work, the smell of cheap booze was stronger now with Johnathan's heavy panting.

You nearly gagged. "Looks like that help wasn't all that effective, huh?" 

He gurgled at you and you rolled your eyes, shoving your fist into his mouth and latching onto his tongue, pulling it upwards. 

His eyes widened and he redoubled his struggle attempts, choking on his own spit and blood as you dragged the blade across his tongue. It wasn't nearly enough to cut it off. It was a tough muscle after all. 

Each stroke of the blade elicited more and more wails and gurgles, you had to take a short break to lean him forward so his mouth could drain before he choked to death. 

The appendage was barely hanging on, lying limp in his mouth. One more slice and it was clean off. You flung it to the corner of the room and wiped your hands off on his shirt. 

You flexed your fingers, staring into the eyes of a dying man. It was said to be unnerving watching the light fade from someone's eyes, see their chest rise one more time before it stuttered to a stop, watch them pale and go limp as their heart gave out and halted pumping blood around the body. 

You couldn't be any more at peace in this moment. 

You turned from the scene, picking up the gun. It wasn't nearly as refined as your pistols, and something told you he had bought the cheapest one available.

The heavy metal was familiar in your grip, you unlatched the safety, turned your body halfway, raised your arm, and fired. 

A singular round in the head. 

The loud bang brought the silencing finality to what you had done. 

You lowered the weapon, the smell of singed gun powder mingling with the scent of blood and sweat, mildew and rot. 

"Bury him where nobody will find him, put his wallet back in his car... and go back to his apartment, take clothes, make it look like he skipped town... his family at least deserves that." You directed numbly.

The skeletons nodded without a word, Caliber immediately began the cleanup, and Colt walked over to you, running his phalanges down your arm gently, taking the gun from you, setting it back on the table. 

"lets getcha cleaned up an' back ta th'mall, s'nearly 1 pm, babydoll."

You weren't surprised, these things usually took longer than anticipated, regardless of how quick you wanted it to be.

"Right..."

\-------------------------------------------------

You had miraculously gotten minimal blood on your shirt, and it was easily hidden. 

Colt had teleported you to the handicap bathroom in the mall to scrub the blood off of your skin with the privacy of a locked door while he went back to help his brother with the cleanup.

Once you were satisfied that the pink on your arms was from your aggressive washing and not from the crimson liquid, you exited the bathroom, and your strategy of finding the food court was put on hold as you were nearly bulldozed over.

"Y/N!!! I WAS SO WORRIED! I TURNED AROUND TO SHOW YOU A REALLY NICE SHIRT AND YOU WEREN'T IN THE STORE ANYMORE!! WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! WHERE DID YOU GO?!" Blue wailed, wrapping his arms tightly around you, burying his face into your shoulder. 

You frowned. You didn't mean to make him worry.

"Sorry, angel, Colt took me to a store he thought I would like... I couldn't find you to tell you, but he said it would be just a minute... I guess we lost track of time." You lied, hugging the skeleton back, rubbing his back soothingly. 

Being so close to him, you picked up the faint scent of sweet musk and sugared fruit. 

You liked his smell a whole lot better than blood.

"and where is he now?" Classic questioned, smile lax, but sockets narrowed at you. Powderpuff and Stretch were right behind him. 

You looked around, feigning ignorance. "Bastard, he must have left to go find Caliber, we lost him when he found a store that carried his suit size." You huffed out. 

The judging skeleton stared at you a moment longer before shrugging. 

Blue pulled back, stars in his sockets. "IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE SAFE! I THOUGHT YOU HAD GOTTEN OVERWHELMED WITH EVERYTHING AND LEFT!" 

You gave the monster a sweet smile, petting his skull. "Naw, don't you worry your pretty little skull, angel. If I was overwhelmed, I'd go right to you."

He flushed blue, beaming at you before taking your hand and gently tugging you along. "MWEH-HEH-HEH! THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE IS A MASTER AT COMFORT! YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE OF PICKING ME! BUT ENOUGH DAWDLING! IT'S NEARLY LUNCH, LET'S HEAD TO THE FOOD COURT WHERE YOU CAN TRY AN ARRAY OF CUISINE!" 

You laughed, letting him lead you. "Show me the way, I'm starving."

He maneuvered through the crowds, it was nice to have someone take control after your little... business trip. The bustling buzz of general noise was comforting on your aching ears after listening to so much screaming, you could even appreciate the different smells surrounding you, and the scantily clad people mingling didn't seem so bad. 

This world was so... soft... so... unguarded.

You could get used to living in peace. 

Blue gasped, and you were prepared for the worst until you saw him staring right at you, hearts in his sockets. 

Oh, stars. He could do different shapes? That was _adorable!_

You flushed, laughing nervously, charming persona slipping. "W-What is it, angel?"

"I JUST NOTICED YOUR NEW JACKET! IT'S VERY STYLISH! DID YOU GET IT AT THE STORE COLT TOOK YOU TO?"

You glanced down at the black bomber jacket, a smile tugging at your lips. 

"Something like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> [My Tumblr!](http://adorible.tumblr.com/)


End file.
